Alone, but not lonely.

I'm alone.

I don't say this in an attempt to get sympathy or in order to hear reassurances that I'll "find someone." I'm alone by choice not by chance. If I were interested in finding a boyfriend/fiance/husband/significant other, I'm sure I'm more than capable of doing so.

I'm alone, but not lonely. I find my own company reassuring, sometimes amusing, but most often adequate. Yes, I live with my parents, so I'm not really alone, but when I move to my own place I won't be taking them with me.

I'm content in my own company, it's when I get into large groups and suddenly I become mostly invisible that I feel lonely. I truly am the one at parties who seeks alone time because staying in a group of people who don't always see or hear me drains my mental and emotional well being. I'd rather be in a small sub-group with one, two, or maybe three other people than with the loud rambunctious main group.

I like parties just fine, but large groups means that you get a lot of different people and I always feel like I have to have conversation with most of them especially if I have some sort of past with them. But they don't always feel the need to reciprocate or choose to ignore me for whatever reason. And that annoys me to no end. I try to be pleasant even to those who do annoy me, but once you ignore me repeatedly I no longer feel the need to be polite.

So while the occasional gathering is good to chase the blahs away, I'm usually very happy to get away from the crowds and be alone. Alone, but not lonely.