Moody and not sure what next

I've been quiet for awhile again. I've tried writing a couple of times, but each time it has turned into a series of complaints that I shouldn't complain about on my blog. And it isn't something that complaining about will do anything to alter the result.

I've been in a mood. I don't know how to get out of it, usually when things start to go right, even a little bit, I find myself feeling better. Things haven't gone really right for me in a while. I keep hoping for a better tomorrow or week or month. I keep trying to be happy and see the good I do have, but I'm having trouble with that recently.

When I get like this, nothing I do seems to help. I can pretend for a little while and enjoy myself a bit, but as soon as real life gets into my head again I'm right back where I started. Things I most love to do, foods I most love to eat, and the people I most love in the world only help briefly or not at all. Situations that aren't a big deal, annoy me to no end and things that should only be minor annoyances become the downfall of a possible improvement in my day and mood. And don't even get me started on what happens when I also happen to be PMS-ing.

So if in the last month or so, (and quite possibly in the coming month), I have seemed not my self, short, annoyed or frustrated with you, I'm sorry, I'm not really that upset with you. It is the accumulation of thousands of mild annoyances and a couple big ones that have knocked me into a grumpy, moody, near constant state of "I don't know what to do anymore."

And I'm not looking for advice or comfort or condolences, I may bite your head off if you try to do any of those things and I'm really not in the proper mood to listen to any help or accept any no matter how reasonable or understanding you may be, I'm simply wiring this all out in the hopes that I can better deal with everything, and maybe you will understand, but maybe just don't try to help me figure out what's wrong or try to fix it... Not yet. I may figure out where my happy went on my own. Maybe not, but right now I'd like to just be. Even writing this all out has helped, a little.